My Jinx
by SpencerChase
Summary: Silly one-shot janitor fic. Could it be that JD's finally won one of the battles in their eternal war?


Bored. Boredboredbored. I need something to do.

Something that doesn't include the 2nd floor bathrooms.

Or mopping.

Or squirrels.

I've already done my time in the cafeteria; if I go back, I'll probably have to clean the windows or that old guy that lawyer guy follows around will start yapping orders at me or something. Besides, Troy is still harboring a grudge from the macaroni-raccoon debacle last Tuesday. Best to lay low until that blows over.

Maybe I should try to find blonde doctor. I hear she's single again, so now's my chance to try and woo her. I should probably find her a gift. I wonder if she likes stuffed animals. I could give her Lester, or maybe Carl. The army would be out a general, but heck, maybe it's time for Franklin to get that promotion.

Oh wait. There's Dr. Dorkian. I smile as I see him standing at the nurse's station looking over one of those chart things the meddies are always looking at. Dorkian: the perfect cure for boredom. I've already messed with him once tonight, though he was asleep at the time, so I don't count it. Besides, my earlier effort gives me the perfect set up now.

It's too bad I missed his reaction when he realized what happened. I can just see him now, looking into the on-call room mirror, tilting his head to the side and looking up like he always does when he seems to be trying to figure something out.

I tilt my head to the side and look up as I imagine what he must've been imagining.

Dorkian yawns and stretches as he gets up from the on-call cot. As he passes a fellow doctor, the other one greets him, "Morning, Squidface!" Dorkian looks confused, but continues on, noticing that as he passes people in the hallway they're all looking at him and laughing, until finally he reaches the nurse's station where one of the nurses greets him, "Good morning, Dr. Squidface!" at which point, he screams and runs with his arms flailing until he gets to the restroom.

He stands before the mirror, hands tugging at his hair as he gapes in horror. "Why, dear God, why?!? How did this happen?!" And then his head tilts to the side as he imagines an answer:

He's asleep in the cot as twenty or thirty tiny little gnomes pour out of the woodwork and swarm him, painting 'squidface' on his forehead in permanent ink. His head untilts.

As does mine.

I shake my head. Sad how his mind works, but at least he'll never figure out I did it.

I approach and reach out to place my hand on Dorkian's shoulder.

"Good morning, Squidface," we both say at the same time.

His eyes widen and he quickly blurts out, "Jinx!" A moment later, a grin stretches across his face and I swear his eyes light with a sadistic glee.

How did he know--? My mind races as I try to make sense of what just happened. Jinx. I remember that old game where the jinxed victim can't speak until someone says his name. I've been jinxed? And that makes him smile?!? My mouth drops open but then I remember that I can't speak. I'll play his stupid little game. But there's revenge to be had. Oh, I shall have my revenge. Revenge!

But back to the matter at hand, how did this happen? How did he possibly know what I was going to say? How did he even know I was here?! I realize the answer to the latter question as I spot myself in the mirror above the nurse's station, but the first one has me stumped.

I gape at him as he turns to face me. Though I would have sworn it'd be impossible, his grin widens and he answers my unspoken question. "I know you too well by now."

It's clear from his red forehead that he's spent quite a bit of time scrubbing the word off, though there's still a faint trace of it left. I should find some satisfaction in that, but this new development has me too occupied.

He pats me on the shoulder as he breezes past me and into one of the patient rooms.

My mouth snaps shut as I catch one of the nurses looking at me in amusement. My eyes narrow and she gulps, quickly turning away from me. At least I still have the power of fear that I hold over them. Still, if I can't talk, it'll impede that power quickly. I need to find someone who'll say my name. But who? I frown as I try to think of anyone around here who's ever called me by name.

Come to think of it, I don't remember anyone ever calling me by name. But surely they must know it. Troy. Troy will know it. Except that I really shouldn't go down to the cafeteria. They're probably still fumigating.

I know. That lawyer guy knows my name; I'm sure he does. We were in an Air Band together. Okay, I just need to find him. Or that UPS (or is he fed ex? Eh, that guy who brings packages in…) guy. He's delivered packages for me. Then again I didn't sign any of those…I'll find the lawyer.

He's in his office. I knock on his door and then let myself in.

He looks genuinely happy to see me. At least I think he does, since he's still frowning; it's just not as frowny as it usually is.

"Oh, hey! You finally got my message!" he greets me.

I never got a message, but can't tell him that. But if he sent a message to me, that must mean he knows my name.

"I've got a new song for The Cool Cats to perform in this next year's competition!"

Say my name. I stare at him silently, willing him to obey.

His frown deepens a little when I don't answer him. "Oh no. You're dropping out of the band aren't you?"

I continue to stare at him. Say my name, say my name!

"And you're giving me the silent treatment? I don't even know what I did! Is it the band name?"

No it's my name, lawyer man. Say it!

But instead he keeps stooping lower and lower, looking sadder and sadder as he tries to come up with the reason behind my silence. I've been jinxed, damn it! All you have to do is say my name!

"My mother always gives me the silent treatment. It lasted almost two months last time…" he bemoans.

I'm getting nowhere.

I sigh and get up to leave the office.

"I don't even know where we're going to find someone to replace you…it was hard enough finding Turkleton. And Lloyd's going to be so disappointed…" He says everyone else's name, but not mine.

Who are these Lloyd and Turkleton people, anyway?

Maybe that guy who signs my check will say my name. I'll just go there and glare at him until he does.

I head into the big cheese's office without knocking. He looks up angrily. Huh. Isn't that the guy that lawyer guy follows?

"What do you want, peon?"

I fold my arms across my chest and stare at him.

"If it's about the mistake on your last paycheck, it's being corrected. Your check will be short forty dollars this week to make up for it."

What? No. That's not…

When I don't leave, Mr. Boss-Man looks up at me. "I'm not giving in on the tuition benefits. My hands are tied."

I don't have a clue what he's talking about, but raise an eyebrow at him anyway. He looks slightly startled, then throws his hands up. "Okay, fine. You'll get the tuition reimbursements for the janitorial staff, I'll just have to fire one of the cafeteria workers!"

I raise my other eyebrow and nod. Sounds good to me. Maybe it'll be Troy and I won't have to worry about him getting his revenge on me.

Still, this is getting me nowhere, so I move on.

I run into blonde doctor and black doctor's wife in the hallway. I smile and give them a wave. They both look slightly startled, but say nothing as they pass me without a word. I'm so not giving her Lester now. Maybe Carl…

Angry doctor just turns and walks the other way as I approach him.

As it turns out, it seems that nobody in this hospital knows my name. Not even Troy did when I gave in and stopped down to try and get him. As he chased me out, swinging a dining tray with intent to maim, he called me several things that I don't think even my father would repeat, but nope, not my name.

Three days pass, and I hate to admit it, but I think Dorkian has won this round. I sigh and try to find him, ready to admit defeat.

He looks up as I approach. "Hey…Janitor!" he calls. "Where's my soda?"

His soda? I frown and look at him in confusion.

His grin widens again. "You know, the one you owe me? Jinx, you owe me a bottle of pop?"

What? That's all he wanted? I blink. A bottle of pop. I can do that.

Within two minutes I'm back and hand him the Pepsi. He looks surprised, but takes it anyway. "You know, you really didn't have to! But, thanks…Janitor."

"No problem. By the way my name's--"

At that precise moment the bottle that I'd shaken just moments before presenting it to Dorkian explodes in a loud fizzing fountain. I grin as Dorkian sputters as he's drenched in the sticky liquid.

Revenge is sweet.

A/N: Just a one-shot that I wrote while I was momentarily having trouble with "My Perfect Day". I may try to polish it up at some point, since I think the idea was a bit better than this draft turned out, but hey…hopefully ya'll enjoyed anyway! I'll update Perfect Day soon!


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